Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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