She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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