He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
