i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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