I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
