chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
