I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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