His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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