all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
