She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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