If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
