Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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