I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
