Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize