whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
