I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Mom said you looked used
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
