I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
