No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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