I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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