No awkward lesbian experiences without me
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying