His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Some milfs here doing some blow
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.