i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
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dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
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Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love