He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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