Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter