He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.