we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts