i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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