everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
