I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
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im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
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I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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