Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
