you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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