well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i need to put some appletini on your dick
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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