Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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