I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
id be glad to
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
