yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
