she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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