You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
