Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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