so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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