Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
