Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
