they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
