will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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