I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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