Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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