Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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