I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
