Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
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She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
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THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.