Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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