i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
