Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
