I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize