Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
