I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.