Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.

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  (305): We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs. http://tfl.nu/e91l
  Replies (14) Good night (3573) Bad night (761)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"

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  (203): It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it" http://tfl.nu/xj55
  Replies (12) Good night (771) Bad night (3152)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside

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  (724): I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside http://tfl.nu/gfts
  Replies (23) Good night (1295) Bad night (4411)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen

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  (203): he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible... (1-203): your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen http://tfl.nu/mgfl
  Replies (20) Good night (5647) Bad night (1240)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle

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  (612): He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle http://tfl.nu/2q09
  Replies (13) Good night (1230) Bad night (3767)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.

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  (718): Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night. http://tfl.nu/a8sl
  Replies (20) Good night (2030) Bad night (4889)
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  (925): View more from California

  I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't

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  (925): I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't http://tfl.nu/i8hu
  Replies (29) Good night (6208) Bad night (1359)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.

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  (703): Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night. http://tfl.nu/f2qw
  Replies (8) Good night (3745) Bad night (1055)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.

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  (406): I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead. http://tfl.nu/61nj
  Replies (3) Good night (1684) Bad night (761)
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  (646): View more from New York

  last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good

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  (646): last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good http://tfl.nu/h7gj
  Replies (16) Good night (2028) Bad night (1026)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.

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  (570): yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain. http://tfl.nu/u0x1
  Replies (4) Good night (1195) Bad night (542)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.

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  (573): I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days. (573): Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven. http://tfl.nu/oqxt
  Replies (7) Good night (1319) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.

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  (615): I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake. http://tfl.nu/9fke
  Replies (1) Good night (992) Bad night (381)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here

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  (406): this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here http://tfl.nu/accs
  Replies (5) Good night (502) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.

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  (478): But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me. http://tfl.nu/3lii
  Replies (2) Good night (724) Bad night (293)

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