she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
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You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
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This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes