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• (303): View more from Colorado

  if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head

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• (845): View more from New York

  i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart

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• (727): View more from Florida

  i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'

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• 

  21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.

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• (718): View more from New York

  I don't deserve a penis

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab

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• 

  23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (909): View more from California

  is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida

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• (424): View more from California

  My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.

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