The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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