i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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