Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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