Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
