just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
