i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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