So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
