he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
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I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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