you're like a bully in the Christmas story
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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