All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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