I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
