I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
sex in a hospital.. check
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize