AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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