Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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